*I have no idea why this came to my head when I was thinking of a title. Somewhere in my subconsious, I'm ready for the school year, I suppose . . . That, and I also like to repeat irritating sayings to Jordan. Thanks to his least favorite cartoon for this one.
It wasn't until I decided that I would write and "end of summer wrap-up" that I realized this is my last true summer e.v.e.r.
What a depressing note to end on, eh?
This made me think: if I would've been more limin, would I have done things differently this summer?
Answer is (luckily) no.
Jordan and I packed in as much fun and travel and lallygagging as anyone young/cool/envy-worthy could.
Highlights from this summer include:
- celebrating our one year anniversary in Park City
- camping
- playing with little brothers (on both sides)
- Bear Lake
- game nights
- buying Jordan's man-truck
- motorcycle/man-truck/late night drives
- too many frozen yogurts
- countless trips to SLC
- play dates with my mom
- finding treasures at my grandpa's house
- baseball games
- gardening (our vegetable planting endeavors were much more successful this year than last-- I guess we're just so much more domestic with a year of marriage behind us)
Things we'll be forgetting about our summer:
- getting hit (both of our cars)
- nasty neighbors
- sleepless nights (our apartment cools down to a chilly 82 degrees at night)
- working different schedules
- family drama
- 2 James' admitted to the ER
Summer was delightful and fun-filled. Let's hope we'll be able to say the same about senior year (eek!)
In thirty years I imagine I'll look back on my twenty-year-old self and have insights on life that I would wish I would've known back then. Sometimes, when I'm in the middle of wasting my thoughts and time with insignificant worries, I think about the life lessons I will learn and the wisdom I'll have acquired.
- While standing on the outside looking in, the life of those around may look perfectly in sync with that of a dreamy fairytale; this will very rarely be true. We all want to display only the best parts of ourselves, our loved ones and the relationship we have with them, the adventures we encounter, and the life we lead. Few people's life is more glamorous, fulfilling, or happy than the one you live. Quit comparing yourself to others-- often, from their perspective, the grass is greener in your neck of the woods anyway.
- When you are loved, love back. If you're not loved, love anyway.
- There will always be work, cleaning, and sleep to be caught up on. Take the fun when it comes.
- Tomorrow is never a guarantee. Suck the marrow out of each day. And while we're on the subject . . . sometimes your practicality needs to lay low. Stop getting caught up in thinking, "what does this really matter?" Instead, do and be and see and get what you love simply because in that moment, it makes you happy. Sure, you could die tomorrow, but do you really want to spend your last day living in logic, rather than love and life and fun?
- Don't be driven by guilt, and don't use guilt to get what you want from others.
- Nothing is more attractive than confidence. Hold your head high, believe in yourself.
I'm sure as I continue to mature, and strap life lessons under my belt, my list will grow. I'll continue to document them, if only to remind myself how to live my best life. For now, these things give me plenty to work on.
What are your life lessons? What is my list missing?
I've learned a lot about life, and people since coming to college. I've had my trust abused, my kindness has been exploited, and my sensitivity has been a tool others use to hurt me. I've learned that there really are some people out there that are vicious and manipulative for unknown reasons.
A few months after I moved up to college is when I first learned of the painful consequences of other people's choices and words. Actually, I think it was the cruelty of many around me that resulted in the strong relationship I formed with Jordan. He became the welcoming arms and open ears that, outside of my family, no one else wanted to be for me. I learned to trust him, lean on him, and obviously, love him in a way as complete and genuine as a 17-year-old girl knows how.
This month has proven to be quite difficult for Jordan and me; we've been the target of other's anger and dishonesty. I've found myself feeling the way I did two years ago-- and that's a very dark and lonely place to be in. I questioned my worth, the existence of anything good, and the value of friendships.
This time though, things are different. Not only do I have the security of a lasting and committed relationship, but I have good friends, and a better awareness of who I am.
I am not defined by other people's opinions of me and I don't want to base the opinion of myself off of the opinions others have of me.
I am kind.
I am genuine.
I am giving.
I know better than to tear people down like they try to do to me-- even if it is deserved.
And those things make me a pretty decent person.
You know what I love?
Car accidents.
Especially those that total your car. Especially when it's not your fault.
This brings our lucky number to 3 cars totaled in 2 years . . . All thanks to other drivers.
Jealous? I didn't think so.
P.S. Just wanna do a little "praise Jesus" shout-out that no one has ever gotten hurt . . . Hopefully that luck won't ever run out!
When you feel scared, hold someone's hand and look into their eyes. And when you feel brave, do the same thing.
- Amy Poehler
One year ago, at just 19 years old, I decided that I loved Jordan enough to be by his side for longer than my mind can begin to comprehend . . . I trusted him to do the same for me. I remember being hand-in-hand, looking in his eyes swelling with liquid happiness and thinking "together, we can do anything." It was the most magical day of my life.
That boy has made me a believer of happily ever after. He has shown me what I want my mark left in the world to look like and given me strength enough to evolve to be that person. While there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about our special day, one year later, I realize: everyday is a special day with him.
Jordan, I _____________ you even more today. If only "forever" lasted a bit longer . . .
"What if I got so fat I couldn't even get out of bed?"
"I would still love you . . . You are the love of my life."
Are you crying? I am.
I am rarely called by my real name. I don't even correct people anymore; rather, I create new personalities to fit my new identity: if I were named Rachel I'd be naturally brunette, a feisty dancer, and you better bet I'm totally the most popular girl in school. Oh, and Daniel-- the hot soccer player? Yeah well, we've been going steady since sophomore year. Ka-POW. I may or may not have an imagination far too active for my age.
Names I'm frequently called are:
- Megan-- understandable.
- Jordan-- rhyme-y, I get it . . . and it's cute to think that me and my husband COULD HAVE THE SAME NAME!
- James-- my maiden name. Every secretary I've ever come across thinks I'm a man until we meet. Then the breasts give me away.
- Jamie-- having two man names really throws people off. Now I have 3. Ugh.
- Lauren-- I guess it could kinda sound like Morgan?
- Taylor-- loooooong story. My friend growing up was Taylor James Morgan . . . that should explain enough.
Today however, I received a new pet-name.
From now on, call me Wanda. But please don't . . . how ugly is that? No offense, you Wanda's out there.
I received these at work yesterday:
If Jordan hadn't been bringing me dinner at the time, I probably would have been back in room 110 having a wild affair with a middle-aged construction worker whose hair reached down to his bottom.
Oh, the hot dates that husband of mine ruins.
I am often guilty of dwelling on the past. I'm sure it's been noted by anyone who reads this due to my pathetic, reminiscent ramblings lately. Rather than being grateful for the moment I'm experiencing and appreciating it's goodness at the time it's occurring, I wait for about 3-7 years and reflect back in desperation to return to the days I was skinny(ish) or when Jordan and I were first dating or when I would spend nearly every day hiking the beautiful canyons surrounding Salt Lake or when I was a "straight A" student or when I fillintheblank.
I've had a revelation, though:
I am not that 16-year-old high school girl anymore.
Genius, eh?
Really though, it is. I am seeing how I have evolved. My beliefs and outlook on life have been altered, and with it, my goals, my experiences, my interests, my relationships, and ultimately, who I am and who I want to become.
Life wouldn't look the same even if I had failed to grow, to learn, to change . . . because everyone around me has done so. It has been difficult to realize and come to terms with the fact that my relationships have changed and will indeed never be the same. BUT, in the midst of mourning the loss of "the way things were," others have stepped in. Really stellar people that have blessed my life with needed lessons and answers . . .
Essentially, my point is that even though it has been a rough road at times, and although life doesn't look anything like I had imagined or planned, I am so grateful for where my life has taken me, and the place I'm at now. I am finally learning how to take in each savory moment, and relish it for all that it's worth. I am blessed. Life is so good. I wouldn't change a thing. Except, you know, those extra pounds, of course.
