I've learned a lot about life, and people since coming to college. I've had my trust abused, my kindness has been exploited, and my sensitivity has been a tool others use to hurt me. I've learned that there really are some people out there that are vicious and manipulative for unknown reasons.
A few months after I moved up to college is when I first learned of the painful consequences of other people's choices and words. Actually, I think it was the cruelty of many around me that resulted in the strong relationship I formed with Jordan. He became the welcoming arms and open ears that, outside of my family, no one else wanted to be for me. I learned to trust him, lean on him, and obviously, love him in a way as complete and genuine as a 17-year-old girl knows how.
This month has proven to be quite difficult for Jordan and me; we've been the target of other's anger and dishonesty. I've found myself feeling the way I did two years ago-- and that's a very dark and lonely place to be in. I questioned my worth, the existence of anything good, and the value of friendships.
This time though, things are different. Not only do I have the security of a lasting and committed relationship, but I have good friends, and a better awareness of who I am.
I am not defined by other people's opinions of me and I don't want to base the opinion of myself off of the opinions others have of me.
I am kind.
I am genuine.
I am giving.
I know better than to tear people down like they try to do to me-- even if it is deserved.
And those things make me a pretty decent person.