True Love

"What if I got so fat I couldn't even get out of bed?"

"I would still love you . . . You are the love of my life."

Are you crying? I am.

riddle me this, Shakespeare

I am rarely called by my real name. I don't even correct people anymore; rather, I create new personalities to fit my new identity: if I were named Rachel I'd be naturally brunette, a feisty dancer, and you better bet I'm totally the most popular girl in school. Oh, and Daniel-- the hot soccer player? Yeah well, we've been going steady since sophomore year. Ka-POW. I may or may not have an imagination far too active for my age.

Names I'm frequently called are:

• Megan-- understandable.
• Jordan-- rhyme-y, I get it . . . and it's cute to think that me and my husband COULD HAVE THE SAME NAME!
• James-- my maiden name. Every secretary I've ever come across thinks I'm a man until we meet. Then the breasts give me away.
• Jamie-- having two man names really throws people off. Now I have 3. Ugh.
• Lauren-- I guess it could kinda sound like Morgan?
• Taylor-- loooooong story. My friend growing up was Taylor James Morgan . . . that should explain enough.

Today however, I received a new pet-name.

From now on, call me Wanda. But please don't . . . how ugly is that? No offense, you Wanda's out there.

I still got it

I received these at work yesterday:

If Jordan hadn't been bringing me dinner at the time, I probably would have been back in room 110 having a wild affair with a middle-aged construction worker whose hair reached down to his bottom.


Oh, the hot dates that husband of mine ruins.

I found my next pet

Presence in the Present

I am often guilty of dwelling on the past. I'm sure it's been noted by anyone who reads this due to my pathetic, reminiscent ramblings lately. Rather than being grateful for the moment I'm experiencing and appreciating it's goodness at the time it's occurring, I wait for about 3-7 years and reflect back in desperation to return to the days I was skinny(ish) or when Jordan and I were first dating or when I would spend nearly every day hiking the beautiful canyons surrounding Salt Lake or when I was a "straight A" student or when I fillintheblank. 


I've had a revelation, though:


I am not that 16-year-old high school girl anymore. 


Genius, eh?


Really though, it is. I am seeing how I have evolved. My beliefs and outlook on life have been altered, and with it, my goals, my experiences, my interests, my relationships, and ultimately, who I am and who I want to become. 


Life wouldn't look the same even if I had failed to grow, to learn, to change . . . because everyone around me has done so. It has been difficult to realize and come to terms with the fact that my relationships have changed and will indeed never be the same. BUT, in the midst of mourning the loss of "the way things were," others have stepped in. Really stellar people that have blessed my life with needed lessons and answers . . . 


Essentially, my point is that even though it has been a rough road at times, and although life doesn't look anything like I had imagined or planned, I am so grateful for where my life has taken me, and the place I'm at now. I am finally learning how to take in each savory moment, and relish it for all that it's worth. I am blessed. Life is so good. I wouldn't change a thing. Except, you know, those extra pounds, of course.

Role Reversal

I crawled into bed quickly to be consumed by the scent of flowery perfume. 

Then it occurred to me that every morning at 5 a.m. when Jordan claims to be going to work, he was really going to see his mistress. It could be the only explanation. 

I started gathering evidence to persecute him; I sniffed him everywhere to discover where exactly this woman had been rubbing up against him. His armpits? Odd. She must like his muscular arms. 

Suddenly, I realized . . . he must have worn the Secret deodorant we have in the bathroom.

I was wearing Degree Sport. 

My Famous Husband

With the semester over, I've found myself with an awful lot of free-time.

How do fill these hours once dedicated to productive activities you ask?

Netflix, duh.

This is how I discovered I am married to a famous singingfootballplayerheartthrob.

Enter Finn Hudson

   

Yep. I have officially found my first celebrity crush.

I get bored at work

Tell me this isn't the hilarious. I dare you.

Gaylellen

Doesn't everyone think their mom is the best ever? Well, too bad for everyone else, in my case it's true.


Even though she can cause many an awkward moment, and despite her oddities, one day, I want to be just as hilarious and kind and loving and giving and wonderful as she is. 


She's undoubtedly the very best. Love you, mama.