riddle me this, Shakespeare

I am rarely called by my real name. I don't even correct people anymore; rather, I create new personalities to fit my new identity: if I were named Rachel I'd be naturally brunette, a feisty dancer, and you better bet I'm totally the most popular girl in school. Oh, and Daniel-- the hot soccer player? Yeah well, we've been going steady since sophomore year. Ka-POW. I may or may not have an imagination far too active for my age.

Names I'm frequently called are:

• Megan-- understandable.
• Jordan-- rhyme-y, I get it . . . and it's cute to think that me and my husband COULD HAVE THE SAME NAME!
• James-- my maiden name. Every secretary I've ever come across thinks I'm a man until we meet. Then the breasts give me away.
• Jamie-- having two man names really throws people off. Now I have 3. Ugh.
• Lauren-- I guess it could kinda sound like Morgan?
• Taylor-- loooooong story. My friend growing up was Taylor James Morgan . . . that should explain enough.

Today however, I received a new pet-name.

From now on, call me Wanda. But please don't . . . how ugly is that? No offense, you Wanda's out there.