Presence in the Present

I am often guilty of dwelling on the past. I'm sure it's been noted by anyone who reads this due to my pathetic, reminiscent ramblings lately. Rather than being grateful for the moment I'm experiencing and appreciating it's goodness at the time it's occurring, I wait for about 3-7 years and reflect back in desperation to return to the days I was skinny(ish) or when Jordan and I were first dating or when I would spend nearly every day hiking the beautiful canyons surrounding Salt Lake or when I was a "straight A" student or when I fillintheblank. 

I've had a revelation, though:

I am not that 16-year-old high school girl anymore. 

Genius, eh?

Really though, it is. I am seeing how I have evolved. My beliefs and outlook on life have been altered, and with it, my goals, my experiences, my interests, my relationships, and ultimately, who I am and who I want to become. 

Life wouldn't look the same even if I had failed to grow, to learn, to change . . . because everyone around me has done so. It has been difficult to realize and come to terms with the fact that my relationships have changed and will indeed never be the same. BUT, in the midst of mourning the loss of "the way things were," others have stepped in. Really stellar people that have blessed my life with needed lessons and answers . . . 

Essentially, my point is that even though it has been a rough road at times, and although life doesn't look anything like I had imagined or planned, I am so grateful for where my life has taken me, and the place I'm at now. I am finally learning how to take in each savory moment, and relish it for all that it's worth. I am blessed. Life is so good. I wouldn't change a thing. Except, you know, those extra pounds, of course.

1 comment:

  1. you are a fantastic biotch. i've missed you so dearly.

    get a facebook so i can stalk you, k?